Dear Santa,

I know someone who is in desperate need of help this Christmas and I don’t know who else, but you, to turn to.
“Who is it?”, you ask, well I’d rather not say; instead, I’ll just refer to him as “Individual 1”. 
First, he needs a HEART.  He thinks women want him to assault them because “they can’t help it; they want me to.” Separating infants from their mothers
is good policy.  Supporting the end of the DACA program for 800,000 children of illegal immigrants who grew up in America and most are now tax-paying, productive adults.  Handling hurricane ravaged survivors in Puerto Rico with criticism of their political leadership and bombarding them with free paper towels.
Criticizing gold star parents of a fallen American military hero because of their Muslim faith. Characterizing Neo-Nazis and Klan members as “fine” people. 
Endorsing state torture.  Advocating for lethal force against desperate, asylum-seeking immigre’s, most young women and infant children, at our borders.
Abolishing “Meals on Wheels” for shut-in seniors as a necessary budget cut.  Describing church-goers as schmucks.  Promoting punishment for women who have abortions.  Valuing the life of a murdered American resident and journalist as an inadequate “Quo” when compared to a murdering despots, oil rich, “Quid.”
And the list goes on and on.
Also, Santa, please search your bag of goodies to find a BRAIN for Individual 1.
It’s absence is clearly and painfully felt every day.
Help him learn to read.  Help him understand the emoluments clause and it’s prohibition against gifts of any kind from foreign and outside donors.  Remind him that Frederick Douglass, noted Afro-American orator and social reformer, is dead.  He died in 1895.
Enlighten him on the independent role of our Justice Department, Congress and the Supreme Court.  Conduct a course on campaign financing law and the dangers associated with illegal money laundering. Counsel him on the deleterious effects of tariffs on economic growth and sustainability.  Educate him on the value science plays in our everyday lives and that climate change is real; not a Chinese hoax. 
Impress upon him the difference between the truth and alternative facts.
Underscore the existence and importance of global alliances, the exigent value of global economic trade and necessity of global defenses against hostile nations.
Isolationism is a lonely, dead-end strategy pursued only by the meek and powerless.
And…that’s enough.  This abridged list will suffice for now.
IF either the heart or brain is rejected and found unsustainable,  please turn Individual 1 into a chicken wing and drop him off at a Klan Christmas Picnic.
Forever thankful.
America’s Majority.